Fashion Faux Pas

2 Aug

Recently i’ve noticed that I seem to have acquired a strange set of fashion pet hates. For example I won’t wear navy and black. Ever. I genuinely thought everyone complied with the no navy/black/brown combinations but apparently it’s just me. Even if its a garment which has collaborated the two/three colours it just doesn’t sit right with me.

Secondly I have a massive problem with boys who wear awful shoes. By awful shoes I mean rubbish trainers, usually white, ones that are so fitted they look like a foot glove. Or those simpleton work shoes with a massive rubber sole. Unless you’re an electrician and might actually need that rubber sole, steer clear! EUGH. Honestly that can turn a boy from hot to creepy in seconds. The only thing worse than crap shoes is POLO NECKS. I’m talking Alan Partridge biscuit coloured stretched-over-moobs polo neck. There is something super creepy about a guy in a polo neck (Not to be confused with a poloshirt which I am 100% in favour of).

Now don’t get me wrong, I’m not some annoying fashion know it all who looks you up and down (don’t you hate that?:|), quite the opposite infact! I’m sure you’ve seen me on one of my ‘kids-tv-presenter-days’ so who am I to judge? However some things boggle my brain unbelieveably, namely wedding trends, or lack thereof. Brace yourself, if you are female and walked up the aisle in the last ten years There’s a VERY high chance i’m going to offend you.

THE STRAPLESS WEDDING DRESS is my absolute most hated trend. Why haven’t you moved into the wedding archives already strapless dress? What happened to sleeves, halternecks, and high necklines with low backs? WHERE HAVE YOU GONE?Apart from anything else strapless dresses are up there with the most difficult to pull off(but not down eh!), and the most uncomfortable to wear but still women of every shape and size are doning them for the most photographed day of their life. Perhaps I am so very aware of this because I previously worked in a bespoke Bridal Boutique as assistant designer. The first conversation with the client always went like this:

Me: So do you have any ideas?

Client: Well I was thinking strapless…:|

Me(in my head) OH FANTASTIC, how WILD of you, you ABSOLUTE NUTTER

How is it that when a size 20 women comes to you asking for a canary yellow dress(yes that DID happen) you are allowed to politely advise her otherwise but when a bride-to-be comes in and askes for a strapless number that will do her no favours you’re supposed to just go with it? The game’s no straight, but anyway thats an argument for another day.

The image that recently restored my faith in bridal fashion is this one:

Fiona Barratt in Vera Wang

Isn’t this just beautiful? Proof you can look absolutely beautiful by being a little it different. Imagine putting a black waistband on a ivory wedding gown? Bloody brilliant. Vera, Fiona, I salute you! ā¤

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2 Responses to “Fashion Faux Pas”

  1. Eileen August 3, 2010 at 8:05 am #

    I’m with you on the black/navy/brown thing – I’ve never liked those colours together! I also thought it was pretty common.

  2. Chrissy August 3, 2010 at 8:29 am #

    It irks me that his suit looks navy blue and is clashing on my monitor with her lovely black waistband šŸ™‚

    Oh that’s another one I hate (but I somehow never manage to avoid) DIFFERENT SHADES OF BLACK in an outfit. If I’m wearing all or lots of black, I really like it to be the same colour.

    …but continuing the wedding rant. Scraped back hair-do’s! They suit almost no one and look incredibly painful, why does everyone get them at weddings? I don’t understand. Thankfully a quick google search shows it’s a trend on the way out.

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