Oodles of Noodles

15 Apr

I’m pretty good at some things and terrible at others. I’m sure you are the same. I’m pretty good at sewing(OBV) and reverse parking. I’m not so good at maintaining nail varnish or keeping my workspace tidy. Exhibit A – My desk

My Desk

I am however EXCELLENT at growing oodles of noodles out of my head. I know what you are thinking, that takes zero effort right? Ok fair enough but maintaining curly hair is a Stephen King style nightmare. But I think, aged 26 I have finally nailed it. So if like me you have curly hair and you are struggling to find the products and techniques to get I looking fab then fear not! I have the answers.

I have found that the less you touch and fuss with your hair the less likely it is to go fuzzy and look horrendous. No one wants to look like this:

Sexy

I used to only brush my hair after I had washed it. Mainly because it is quite difficult to get a brush through curly, dry hair. Some hairdressers say brushing when your hair is wet will cause the hair to snap, some say brushing when it is dry will cause the hair to snap. So obviously no one actually has a clue so do what works. For me I only ever brush my hair, when it is dry and immediately before I wash it. I look like Diana Ross after electrocution at this point. So much so I often have a pure laugh at my own reflection. It is mental. I am FAR too vain to put this on the internet however my old flatmates will vouch for this look. I am not exaggerating.

Wow


My next piece of noodley wisdom is do everything upside down. I usually wash my hair upside down over the bath then put it in my hair turban(best invention ever) and have a shower. Don’t brush it again and don’t run your fingers through it. This is the point where all the natural curls and shapes seem to form. Brushing it or running your fingers through it mess these up and your hair will look distinctly average.

Next keeping your head upside down take the towel off. Don’t scrunch it. Do not whatever you do towel dry it unless you want guaranteed fuzz. Give it a squeeze at most. Keep your head upside down and cover with a salt spray. I think this is literally saline that smells nice but I like it.

It’s £3.50 or something

Now you can flip your head right way up and salt spray the crown of your head and any other bits that might not have been covered the first time. For good measure I do the same again with a medium strength hair spray. nothing too strong or it will go crunchy and product-y.

Now you need a hairdryer with a diffuser. Turn your head upside down again and dry with the diffuser. Drying it upside down gives you lift at the roots and stops your hair going flat. If you have really long hair you might need some stronger hairspray at the roots as the weight of your hair will flatten it out.

VOILA effing fabulous curly hair. You are welcome.

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